Dance. My true love.

This video makes me cry. It’s the kind of dancing I used to do. Ballet. I loved it with all my heart. I planned on making it my life. Plans have a habit of changing on people, though; or sometimes it’s the people that change. It’s the previous statement with this plan, however. I miss it so much. It’s a sore subject even after I broke most all ties with it almost three years ago now. I still dance, but not like this. I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried. My body is no longer conducive to it.

I need dance to be a part of my life in some form or another, though. I’ve finally realized that I’m just not quite right without it. This is the kind of dancing I plan to get back into. Though it’s slightly hard to admit, modern is probably what I’m far better suited for. I pray that I’ve retained some of this talent; at least enough to re-introduce it into my life. I’m going to ease myself back into this art form that I’ve so dearly missed, and hope that this reunion resolves some of the emptiness I’ve been feeling in my creative life. This piece is fantastic. This is one of my favorite deathcab songs and it’s a great interpretation of the lyrics. Love. Love. Love it.

Hugs.Dreams.Juno.

I just thought this was cute.

I thought this was cute and interesting. Scroll down to the bottom of the page first though.
http://nygirlofmydreams.com/
It's fun to think about what might have happened to them.
~
It's festival week at my school and today was movie day, so I dressed up like Juno which was super fun and I think I pulled it off pretty well. Anyways, I just wanted to conclude this random post with a lovely quote from the movie.

"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your [rear-end]. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

Best Valentine's Day EVER.

My weekend was fantastic, and I probably had the best valentine's day ever. I usually spend valentine's day watching a list of my favorite movies that I try to only watch on Valentine's day in order to have something to look forward to. However, here's a list of why valentine's day 2009 was far better than previous years.
1. I awoke to a dozen gorgeous roses outside of my bedroom delivered in the early, early a.m. by an exceptionally sweet boy.
2. I got to see Coraline with my little brother, my sister, and soon to be brother-in-law. It was incredible. We also got to see it 3D.
3. Immediately upon returning home from Coraline, I headed up to Lake Mills to visit with my cousin and one of my very good friends. We went to see Mark Shultz in concert. I felt kind of bad because I really had no idea who he was. He's a pretty popular Christian singer known best for his song "Letters from war". He was fantastic; super down to earth and genuine. His singing was pretty great as well. He had a slight country tone, which I normally don't like, but I loved his music. I especially liked his song, "Walking Her Home"; it was adorable and beautiful. I then took a picture with him after the show and got his autograph.
4. We got ice cream sundaes from the great Mickey D's. I haven't had one of those in a long time and it was delicious.
5. I could see the stars in Lake Mills far better than in Milwaukee.
6. I didn't watch any of the movies off of my list, because I didn't need to. I was far too content.
7. We tried to watch Titanic but I fell asleep within the first two minutes. It would have been devastational if I'd not fallen asleep, though. I always fall in love with Jack and even though I've seen it about five times; his death always puts me in a downer mood for days.
8. I had a dream that 50 old men were singing "Sweet Caroline" acapella and it was quite a show.

"I can tap dance. Wanna see me tap dance?"

This is number one on my Valentine's Day movie list.

I <3 Zach Braff.

It's a difficult, tricky thing.

So Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm not the greatest fan of it. It's alright. I just think it's kind of silly. Yeah it's sort of fun when you're a kid. But even then there's heart break and embarrassment; though the true meaning of those words can't really be known/felt for many a year. I still don't truly know what heartbreak feels like...at least when it comes to matters of romance. Thank Goodness. I'm most definitely a hopeless romantic, however. I'm basically contradicting myself because I said how I don't like Valentine's day. I think love should be expressed every day though. Valentine's Day shouldn't be used as an excuse. And I feel like it's a "holiday" that's reserved only for those who are involved "romantically" with someone. Ugh. I think that being vulnerable is the scariest thing in the world, though. One of my most favorite post secret cards said, "I finally discovered that my greatest fear isn't being alone...it's being vulnerable." I couldn't agree more. I always watch movies on Valentines Day. I've actually been watching the same ones for the past two years. Here's a clip from an off kilter "romance" movie. I love Adam Sandler, but I love him even more in serious roles. I think he pulls of serious beautifully. This song is also my absolute favorite. It's called "Here We Go" by John Brion, who's an absolute genius. I probably relate to this song better than any other song.

Every one's difficult to someone, I think many people are difficult or confused towards themselves even. I know I am.
Yep; it's a difficult tricky thing.

"...it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life."

I already posted about The Little Prince but I just adore that book so much and today there was a post secret about it, which absolutely made my morning. I was so, so, nervous this weekend about various situations. I had a marvelous afternoon though and one part of my life has been solved :) Much of my worry was pointless, and when I notice myself fretting unnecessarily I always think about The Little Prince. I am reminded to just chill out through the simplicity and the pureness of the plot. I just discovered this was the favorite book of James Dean as well! I was also youtubing it and I discovered it was made into a movie and Gene Wilder is in it! It looks a little creepy, but so creative and interesting as well. I'm going to have to rent it sometime this week. Here's a short clip from it.

A little point to ponder: “What makes the desert beautiful,” said the little prince, “is that somewhere it hides a well…”

Owls. Opossum friend. Adorable child dressed up in dear costume.

R.I.P Opossum friend. You were semi-loved.

I've decided to give up on posting my fictional amateur writing everyday this week. Real life has just been far too interesting lately and I want to comment on it.

My painting teacher showed the class one of her sketches today and it was an owl. She explained to us how much she enjoyed owls, and I myself am quite fond of owls. The conversation that followed the sketch went somewhat like this.

Me: "I like owls too! I like owls a lot!"

Teacher: "You do? Well, have you ever been owl calling?"

Me: "No. What's owl calling?"

Teacher: "Well you basically call the owls and you can talk to them and they talk to you. You and the owls can carry on a conversation. Owls are very sociable. Just make sure you call the screech owl first because they're little and scared of the other owls."

Me: "Wow...you can talk to owls?" (I was very confused and amazed at this point.)

Teacher: "Yeah."

Me: "How do you do that? Where do you find them?"

Teacher: "Well you talk owl talk and you call them wherever owls are." (She gave me a very vague answer, probably because she wants all the owls to herself.)

The day continued with odd animal situations/convos. After my Dad picked me up from school the convo in the car went like this.

Dad: "Today is a very sad day."

Me: "Why is that?"

Dad: "Something happened to our opossum friend."

(We had this opossum who pretty much lived in our back yard. It frequently tried to break into our house, but we tolerated it and even fed it.)

Me: "Oh, well what happened to our opossum friend dad?"

Dad: "He died a terrible death."

Me: "And how do you know this for sure."

Dad: "You'll see."

Me: (I was starting to get frustrated...I just wanted him to get to the point.) "Come on just tell me how he died."

Dad: "I shot him right between the eyes."

Me: "No you didn't."

Dad: "You're right. I didn't. But he is dead and he managed to die right by the front door. At first I thought he was hibernating, but then I realized he was hibernating for eternity."

Me: "Well I don't want to see him."

We then pulled into the drive way and my curiosity got the better of me and I had to go look at it. I also had to take a picture; terrible, I know.

All this animal-ness reminded me of Kate Micucci who was on Scrubs last night. She's an actress/artist/musician and I admire her immensely. She made a song called Deer Dear and it's cute, and funny, and sad. Here it is.

This one moment belongs only to me.

It's strange. I have a very hard time keeping up with writing in my journal, but for some reason I'm able to be a lot more loyal to blogging. Maybe it's because it doesn't feel as pointless due to the probability that at least a few people will see my writing. I still like to journal more personal things for therapeutic benefits, but I don't need to do that very frequently. I brought this up because a few people recently approached me and told me about how they're reading my blog. I was surprised and happy. So thanks for letting me know! I am so tempted to comment on something I read today, but I'm going to follow through on my goal of only posting original writing this week. Here's an intro to one of my short stories.

My legs are shaking and my heart is beating so fast that I feel like it’s about to burst. As I stare up at the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling I just assume that I’ve had a bad dream. The peachy glow of the rested sun illuminates my green shag carpet and I smile at the thought of the brand-new day. I have no idea what startled me back into consciousness but I'm glad for it because I love waking up just as the sun is rising. I adore witnessing the way the light falls across my lavender walls and the feel of the early morning breeze coming through my window. No one else is in this room seeing and feeling what I am. I like the idea that this one moment belongs only to me, but then I hear something that I haven’t heard for over four years. I pray that the sound is all in my head and I convince myself that it is, but as I turn around every atom of my being freezes. There, sitting on my window sill is the sign that all I’ve finally become accustomed to in the past four years was again about to change.

i'm awfully sleepy. i should be sleeping. instead i'm writing on my blog.

I frequently blog about other people's ideas whether they come from books or songs etc., so I decided to post some original writing of my own every day this week.

She had a tendency to infatuate over broken people. That's why she never believed she would have a suitable mate. All the boys she "liked" had qualities that would only leave her broken in the process of a relationship. The end result would be two broken people. So she was constantly caught in a love limbo, knowing she should be inclined towards courteous mature boys but never being able to.

These few sentences were just meant to be characterization, but I ended up liking the tone of it and I'm working towards writing more material based around these ideas. A lot of the things I write about fictionally I have not personally experienced first hand. I like writing because it's a way to go outside of myself and view things from different perspectives. I do use a lot of my own feelings and philosophies in my writing, however. I really do have a way of gravitating towards those who seem lost in a way. I don't know why. It could possibly be the prospect of being a ray of light in someones life, but I know this is a terrible reason to go into anything. I am quite worried that this will be a downfall of mine when it comes to boys. This is a poem I wrote that sounds a little emo, but I thought it went well with the previous few sentences.

You removed the scab of lost love
only to let my heart bleed more
Sew it up
I want to make you feel like I do
But I gave you enough of me for you to know I never would
The lesson should have been learned
I only blame myself
The lesson was to not fall for you
But how could I have possibly not

Nothing Better.

This weekend was crazy and fun and just (sigh) good. Saturday two of my friends came over and my friend Josalyn and I told Sara that we should go to Blockbuster, so we got in the car and we just drove way past blockbuster. Sara kept saying, "There's got to be a blockbuster closer than this..." I'm sure she figured out we weren't going to blockbuster by the time we were downtown and heading towards the UWM campus. Since it was her birthday weekend we wanted to surprise her and take her to a show so we went to the UWM Opera Theater and we saw "Orpheus in the Underworld". It was fantastic and hilarious and amazing! But right now I'm in one of those, "bummed out for no good reason moods" and when I feel like that I listen to music and so I decided to post some of my favorite artists. Ahhhh...so I just absolutely love love love Ben Gibbard and I love Jenny Lewis ,and them together is just fabulous. I decided to post this video of them live. The screaming and singing along is kind of annoying but I love "Nothing Better" acoustic and you can get a better taste for Ben's style live. His voice and style is so pure and endearing, and nothing beats the frames and plaid shirt. Jenny Lewis has such a pure voice and down to earth style as well. This song is sad and beautiful and just wonderful.

This video is kind of funny and amazing.