Math must be on my mind.

I'm sitting in my bedroom at my family's home and just thinking about how time seems to be going exponentially faster as this semester comes to a close. My life is going to be dramatically different next year. I long ago stopped formulating expectations because doing so is never beneficial, but I find it difficult to even imagine what this next chapter of my life possibly holds. I'm so excited, but really kind of nervous as well. I know I already blogged about this, but living by myself downtown will be so different than my current situation.

Anyhow last night I saw the movie Paper Heart. I feel like I reference movies an awful lot in my blog...but I guess I initially intended to major in film at UofM and at UWM I'm still listed as a BFA in film, which I find kind of funny. There is still a possibility that this is the road I might take, however. I often think this after finishing a movie. I just love thinking about how they are made and everything. Back to Paper Heart. It was adorable and exactly the kind of movie I would love to make. It was actually a mocumentary. Just watch it. Charlyne Yi who wrote, produced and starred in Paper Heart is very enjoyable; she's the type of person I would love to be friends with.

Look at this picture of Amelie. Now watch this youtube video. I don't know if I just have a really bizarre sense of humor or not but I found this absolutely hilarious.

*I realize the title of this post is completely irrelevant with the exception of the two purple words. I just found it funny that I used two math like terms. I hate math.

Survived for 700 years and still look 17.

On Friday in one of my English classes our teacher just had us listen to various types of music. He has an amazingly eclectic taste in music. Just a few of his likes are crazy grunge punk, The Fiery Furnaces, Miles Davis, Tom Waits and The White Stripes. We got to spend the entire class period listening to these bands and more. I love this guy! He also told us that he knows Conor Oberst's brother! Ahh! He tells us stories of him and his college friends and how they would sit in his bedroom with the lights off, blast contemporary classical music, drink beer, and talk about life till day break. This is totally the type of guy I would have loved to hang out with.
One song he played for us in class was "I'm a Vampire" by Future Bible Heroes. I really like the sweet beat and funny lyrics. Listening to it also made me think of the song "Vampire" by Antsy Pants which I also enjoy. I thought it would be appropriate to post these songs (just ignore the weird pictures in the Anstsy Pants vid.), especially since the Twilight craze is still very much occurring. I've never actually read the books and I've just recently seen the movie...I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing.


We also talked about Death Cab for Cutie in the class and my teacher stated that he much preferred the Postal Service. I love both strictly because I adore Ben Gibbard. Ben Gibbard is actually going to be in Milwaukee once again January 30 along with Jay Farrar. They got together to make music for the Jack Kerouac documentary One Fast Move or I'm Gone: Kerouac's Big Sur. I haven't seen it yet but I definitely take an interest in Jack Kerouac. I've only read his novella Tristessa. His writing is beautiful and different and I'm really looking forward to finding the time to read On The Road and Big Sur. I have not yet had the honor of seeing Ben Gibbard live and I don't care what it takes but I am going to go to that show. Here's a link describing this wondrosity in more detail http://pabsttheater.org/benjay

"If you want to destroy my sweater..."

Today I was thinking about sweaters and how much I love them. It got me thinking about the origin of sweaters and how if you say sweaters enough it sounds like a very strange word. If it was up to me they would be called something quite different. It's the fault of all those silly (I was going to say stupid, but I thought that would be a bit harsh and judgemental...) athletes who decided it would be a good idea to wear a material that is made out of sheep, goat, or alpaca hair. Naturally, someone who is doing strenuous activity in a garment made out of wooly animal hair is going to sweat; thus the name "sweater". The only athletes who really still workout in really warm clothes while inside are wrestlers and they wear "sweatshirts" which are entirely different so I think there should be a revolution. Sweaters should no longer be called sweaters but possibly something like a "Cosby" or a "Mister Rogers". Now someone might argue that the "Cosby" and the "Mister Rogers" are genres of the sweater. This is true but rather than say, "Today I am wearing a Cosby sweater." One could just state, "I'm wearing a Cosby." Every one already knows that it is a sweater. There is a sweater that already follows this rule. It is the cardigan, named after the 7th Earl of Cardigan. When someone states that they are wearing a cardigan they usually don't say, "I'm wearing a cardigan sweater." It sounds slightly off. I think this should carry throughout all genres of the sweater until one day the unpleasant title of sweater, filled with all its yucky, sweaty connotations, will eventually dissolve. When I don myself in something as wonderful and classy as Peruvian alpaca, cashmere goat, or Merino sheep I'd prefer to not think of people pumping iron at intolerable levels of heat due to their poor clothing choice. Consider this during the holiday season. Think twice before you say, "I'm going to wear a heavily beaded Christmas sweater!" Are you really planning on sweating excessively while wearing it? If so you should possibly choose a different garment. As an alternative you could possibly state, "I'm going to wear a heavily beaded clothing item made of sheep hair!" Doesn't it sound so much more poetic?

Apples and Appleton

I decided that I need one more post for November. Next month I'll hopefully be able to blog more than five times. I'm so excited for December. With December will come all of the much needed changes I've been so longingly waiting for. I also can't wait to allow my mind to be freely creative without guilt. I constantly think of things I want to write about, paint, or even hear songs I want to choreograph to but I have too much school work to worry about right now. I could put aside all of these matters of "great consequence" and indulge in my creative urges, but knowing that I am procrastinating on things I ought to be doing slightly stifles my process and thus the end result is not as purely imaginative as I would like. I figure I might as well just get all of the unimportant stuff like exams and papers out of the way before I can focus on what is truly important to me.

I am so utterly exhausted today. Thanksgiving break was absolutely wonderful, and incredibly relaxing but I feel like it took a toll on me. It was very emotional for some reason. I guess I'm just an emotional person, but I feel like I was even more so this past week. The Dells was nice. Except I sliced my finger real good trying to cut an apple. (It's funny because as I'm typing this entry I am eating an apple.) I stood at the kitchen sink stating, "Ow it hurts. It really, really hurts. Ow. It REALLY HURTS!" for about five minutes. It didn't stop bleeding for two hours and about 20 paper towels went to their capacity that night for my dear finger. There was talk of possibly going to the ER, but it ended up being a pretty little cut. It sure didn't seem little as it bled for two hours though!

After the Dells I went to Appleton to visit my boyfriend's family. It is still so surreal to me that I have a boyfriend, especially such a kind, fun-loving, forgiving boyfriend. Anyhow I spent Friday through Sunday at his house and it was really easy going. Much more easy going then I am accustomed to. It was really nice finally being able to see everything he always talks about. It's crazy how well you can picture something that someone is talking about without ever having been there, but you really do get a much clearer understanding of a person when you see them in the environment they grew up in or are spending much of their time in. I can't wait till I can visit a good friend of mine at college in North Dakota so I can understand her new life better.

On Saturday we watched Up and if you haven't seen this movie, see it! It is absolutely adorable. It may sound silly but I was just bawling during a couple parts of it. It really hit me hard and actually made me have some revelations.

I think I ought to stop for now and actually get to all of the matters of "great consequence" that are currently accumulating in my life. Yuck. I will leave you with a song with "November" in it by a band I never really heard of, but they're aren't that bad.

I won't do minimalism on MY walls.

Thanksgiving seemed to come real fast this year. I'm super excited because I'm going to the dells tomorrow. I normally wouldn't be all that excited about the dells, but the dells mixed with Thanksgiving is very exciting because my entire family goes up. By entire family I'm not just referring to my Mom, Dad, sister, two brothers and a brother-in-law. Whole family is my extended family and my extended family includes my grandparents, 12 aunts and uncles, and all their children. I think the total of all us cousins is somewhere around 25 I think more even. I love my family. They are so, so much fun. Everyone laughs a lot and it seems that as soon as one person starts laughing everyone has to out do that person and laugh harder and louder until pretty soon their is an explosion of laughter. Ahhh...I can't wait. All of us cram into a few condos like a whole slew of happy sardines and we eat and play games until late in the night. It's absolutely marvelous.

I dearly pray that the rest of the semester goes real fast. I only have about ten more days of actual class from here on out, though. I just can't wait to move into my own space and decorate it with all my quirky pictures and things but I don't like a lot of junk every where (Plus I don't have all that much stuff...) but I definitely don't want the walls to be bare. My parents are extreme minimalists when it comes to decorating walls; they just don't believe in hanging family pictures up, school pictures, or anything like that. In fact, I don't think we've had a family photo since I was two. My parents even had another kid five years ago and they still haven't taken a family photo. It's actually Kyle's (my little brother's) birthday today. Anyhow there's this website I really like called "the selby" the reason I mention it is because I was writing about decorating and this is the ultimate, indie decorum site (at least in my eyes.)

"The selby features photographs, paintings and videos by todd selby of interesting people and their creative spaces" I love it. It's basically just a whole bunch of pictures of artsy people and where they live. I especially like the most recent house featured. I love the country feel of it and how they have a ping pong table in that rustic garage and I can totally see myself painting in some little country garden and their fireplace that isn't really used for a fireplace is sweet. check it: http://www.theselby.com/

It's tempting to Alexander Supertramp it.

I was in the musical, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, at my college this fall. It was fun, but I'm glad it's over in a way. It was definitely good for me, however. I need structured activity. Now that I have a little more time to do what I please with I'm thinking a lot more. Thinking is usually a good thing, but I tend to think too much. I also have a wild imagination and a small amount of common sense. This combination often leads me to think of such things like going places on a whim. Today for example I have a horrible urge to run away on a greyhound to some place down south, take all my earnings (which are awfully, awfully slim.) and find a super, crappy shack in the woods where I can be like Thoreau and isolate myself from everyone and everything and just write. I get so into these ideas that I look online to see how much a shack down south would cost. Sometimes I even look into the price of greyhound tickets. Don't worry though, thankfully I'm not selfish enough to Alexander Supertramp it; though I get horribly, terribly tempted at times. As silly as this all sounds it's a serious issue for me. I'm praying that I have the strength to fight such urges. If I ever do give in I'll be sure to tell people first, though. I'm kind of going somewhere next semester that resulted from such musings, but actually I've been thinking about it for over three months now. I'm transferring schools. Crazy I know. This whole school situation has been absolutely insane for me. My mom and I frequently joke that I should just collect as many student IDs as I possibly can. I already have two. One for UofM and one for Carroll University. My third is going to be for UWM. I'm pretty sure this is going to be my third and final, however. It's funny how I ended up back where I began. That's where I was going to go before getting accepted to UofM. I'm absolutely thrilled for Milwaukee. I love the city of Milwaukee. Everything about it. (well...except that it gets so cold, but that's out of MKE's control anyways.) I'm going to move into a studio apartment downtown all on my lonesome. I'm most excited for this aspect of it; slightly nervous, but I believe it will do me a lot of good. I'm a very, very independent person and I thrive on being able to apply that independence. I've spent more time day dreaming about grocery shopping and eating oatmeal at my small little breakfast table in my bathrobe while listening to NPR in the mornings far more than I ought. I can so clearly see myself sitting on my pull out couch (the only piece of furniture I'll probably be able to fit in the place)and writing and listening to classical music. I'll get to jam to Weezer in my underwear while vacuuming and I'll be able to sprawl my canvases all over my floor. It will be wondrous. I'm also looking forward to having the power of public transportation. Sure it's slow, but since I'll be a UWM student I'll get a free bus pass. FREE. Who wouldn't want free transportation even if it's slow! Don't get me wrong, I know there will be tough times. There will be some scary nights and other nights it'll be so cold I won't want to make the trek to get food and I'll opt to let my tummy grumble and complain, but I've wanted to live this way since I was fourteen. I truly will miss some things about my current situation such as how easy it is to register for classes and my wonderfully chill and fun roommate, but I've done all the growing I could possibly do at Carroll. It's time for me to move on; expand my horizons. I still have four more weeks where I'm at though and I have lots and lots of papers due, so back to writing a five page 11 pt. font paper about the fonts and other various typographical elements of two magazines. How Exciting! (That statement was obviously dripping with sarcasm, no make that drenched with sarcasm.)

Post about distaste for technology...on a blog. Oh the irony.

On Sunday I discovered that my phone was out of commission. When I turned it on all that appeared were colorful bars. It was quite pleasing to look at, but awfully disappointing to know my phone could only display colorful bars showing it's inability to be anything but functional. I didn't get a working one until Thursday and it was definitely an interesting four days. I didn't realize how dependent of my phone I had become.
This whole situation made me realize, however, that I have never cared for technology all that much. I always thought that life would just be a lot simpler in so many ways with out it. By simpler I mean more easy going, chill and wholesome. But goodness, if the Internet was taken away from me I don't know what I'd do. I just love researching things (This statement once again reinforces my nerdism.) Actually I do know what I'd do if I didn't have the Internet. I'd get a lot more done and I'd probably be an overall more productive person because one really doesn't actually need the Internet for papers. There's so much information in books; lots. Sadly books are neglected because of the Internet. I could definitely do without television and all that as well. I love, love, love to read and would take a good book over a television program any day. I frequently wish that I was born back in the times of Jane Austen or even Little House On The Prairie but I'd definitely prefer Jane Austen's time. I think I'd like that a lot.
I've been thinking about these times more and more lately for some strange reason. I really don't know why I am suddenly drawn to the days where woman only wore dresses and stayed at home, especially because I'd consider myself a slight feminist. But life was more romantic in multiple ways. People had no other choice but to send letters to one another (which would be so much nicer than texts or facebook messages) and formality was necessary in courtship. Don't take me wrong, just kicking it back and watching a football game is nice (even if I don't know what's always going on...) but it'd be so much nicer to go for a stroll in the garden or a horseback ride through the English moors. I'd especially love to don myself in an empire waist dress of Austen's time and have my handsome courter escort me to a ball where we'd dance like civilized and beautiful human beings rather than like raucous animals.
Last year I had the privilege of being Jane Bennett in my high school's production of Pride and Prejudice. It was probably a couple of the greatest months of my life. I adore the character of Jane Bennet. Some people might think think her boring, but I think of her as such a pleasant and charming character. I love how she sees the good in all. I am definitely more like Elizabeth Bennet, though. However if I had to describe my personality using any literary characters it'd probably be a mix between Jo from Little Women, Ramona Quimby, and a small dash of Scout Finch. Out of curiosity I took two different literary character quizzes and based off of those questions I got Galadriel from Lord of the Rings on one and for the other I got Alice from Alice In Wonderland. Here's the links to them:

http://www.abebooks.com/docs/Community/Featured/LiteraryCharacterQuiz/character-quiz.shtmlhttp://www.morethanwordsuk.com/flash/

They are real short and fun. Comment and let me know what character you ended up getting!

Since I'm so sappy I'm also including the final scene from the Kiera Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice.

I like to give wild hugs.

In a previous post I mentioned Where The Wild Things Are. I enjoyed it so much that I wanted to write a short post about my feelings on it. When I told my dad that I was going to see it he told me that NPR did not like it. Here’s a link to their review:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113653755lates/story/story.php?storyId=113653755.
Since I am very impressionable and also a big fan of NPR I became slightly hesitant to go see the movie after hearing this information from my pops. After seeing it I understood their take on it, but I actually enjoyed it a whole lot. It was really interesting to see how a children’s book was adapted on screen. It was a little hard to watch because Max was so rude to his mother and because the “wild things” were awfully neurotic and mean, but that was what the screenwriters wanted to portray. It’s not a movie I’d take a young child to by any means, but the soundtrack and cinematography was absolutely gorgeous. The artistic aspect of the film has extended into clothing and apartment decorum featured by Urban Outfitters. It's overpriced but terribly charming. I especially like the "art work". I'm still confused on the message of the movie and what everything meant. I wasn't sure what each character (or whom each character was supposed to represent.) The movie was intensely philosophical. I hope more children's books are converted in movies like this. Children's books are such a beautiful and honest genre. They have a lot of potential for expansion. But I gues part of the beauty of a children's book is simplicity. A children's book that would make for a very interesting film would be The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I adore Shel Silverstein. I love him so much that I want a tattoo of one of his charming little drawings. I'd especially like one of the stump from The Giving Tree. That book means a lot to me. Ever since I was a little one I have gravitated towards Shel Silverstein's work. I feel like Shel Silverstein's poetry captures the essence of my childhood philosophy (which just so happens to be pretty much the same today.) Like Hug O' War for example.

That is how life should be. Everyone rolling around and laughing and winning. Life is not like that. Not at all. That is OK. I will make my life like that; well as much as I possibly can. It may involve tackling friends and family and forcing them to be happy which goes against the whole point of the poem. I don't know. This world is imperfect and due to sin that's the way it will remain. However, I am going to do my best to spread this message of "Hug O' War" and maybe perfect the imperfection of it all just a hare.

Mmm...I had a good Thursday.

I think it's funny how I complain about my homework load and say I have to write so many papers and read things I don't really want to read but then I go and write posts that are basically just like homework assignments. So today I'm going to write a really random and non-homeworky post. I had a really really fun day yesterday because a girl who is a senior at the high school I graduated from shadowed me at Carroll. She went to my classes and did homework with me in the library. It was really fun seeing college through her eyes. She kept saying, "Wow! This is a school day for you! You only have two hours of class and then you can do with your time what you like! You get to live on your own time." I found myself thinking, "Yeah, you're right. I do have it pretty good!" Granted my Thursdays are quite a bit easier than the other days of the week. We also went to Zumba. It was the funnest exercise class in my life! It was quite a workout...I am now a huge fan of Latin dance. Then she went to my musical practice and we grabbed a movie and some pizza and went back to my dorm. We watched Abre Los Ojos which is a crazy psychological thriller. It was fantastic, but my mind was so boggled. It's kind of funny because my eyes were opened in a way yesterday through my high school friends visit. Then we went over to a friends dorm, watched some Gossip Girl and finally went to sleep around 1 a.m. It was a blast. I have to add one more thing. Fleeces are awesome. Fleeces as in fleece jackets. They are so fantastic because they have these great pockets which can hold so much and you don't need a purse. I really don't like carrying around purses so I'm very thankful for the pockets on fleece jackets. Plus fleece jackets are so versatile. You can wear them inside and out!

Extremely Long and Incredibly Intense Blog Post

Yesterday the professor of my storytelling class asked the class, "Has anyone here read Everything Is Illuminated?" and though I have not had a chance to read this work of Jonathan Safran Foer's yet I jumped out of my seat and said, "No, but I love Jonathan Safran Foer!" I know she knows I love him because I wrote an entire paragraph about him on those sheet things some teachers hand out at the beginning of school that ask you personal things like what's your favorite candy, movie, book etc. but maybe she didn't actually read it. My vain side likes to think that I was the one who piqued her interest in Jonathan Safran Foer because she continued by saying that she was currently listening to Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close on audio book and that's the book I listed as my favorite of all time. She said that she got shivers every time she listened to it; I agree his writing surely provokes shivers. The bummer about my teacher listening to it on audio book though is that she is missing out on the artistic power of the book in print. I use the phrase "artistic power" because the book includes photographs, blank pages, and all other sorts of interesting things that bring the book into an entirely different dimension. It's really, really neat. (Now if you're reading this post and thinking, "Hmmm...maybe I should read this book as well..." do it! I just want to warn you that there is some material in it that could be very offending to some readers because some of it is a little risque and bizarre.) We then continued our discussion by her asking if I ever read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I actually bought this book at half-price-books for a dollar because I found in the clearance section and had heard it was pretty good. I only got around to reading about half of it before life handed me college and thus assigned reading which forced all the material I actually desire to read out of my life, ugh. (Sorry, just had to rant for a moment. I really shouldn't because one who goes to college ought not to complain about such things since it is all to be expected.) Anyhow, she asked me if I had read this and I told her that I read some and she said, "I just asked because Oskar (the little boy who is the main character in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) reminds me of Christopher (the main character in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.)" I agreed with her because Christopher is autistic, and obviously so to the reader. Oskar also displays autistic traits due to his brilliance, but whether he is autistic or not is still a little bit vaguer than Christopher's situation. I find autism to be a very interesting
disorder; it’s something I know very little about but it’s amazing how complex and intricate God made our brains. Comparing and contrasting the characters of Oskar and Christopher and autism in literature in general would be a fun English paper topic (gah…I’m such a nerd.) I have to admit to being a culprit of reading things on Wikipedia and as I was reading what Wikipedia had to say on Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close I noticed that Dave Eggers' name was mentioned and they said he was a friend and sometimes collaborator of Foer. It’s crazy how many subject have tied together so neatly(yet complexly) in my life lately. In my storytelling class we also read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius which is a memoir by a man named Dave Eggers. I liked it; even though it was a bit vain. It was a memoir though and I guess memoirs have to be vain. The other thing about memoirs is that sometimes the author adds things and then the line between fiction and reality is blurred and this upsets some readers. People have to realize that autobiographies and memoirs are different, however. Autobiographies are usually more honest because it focuses on one’s entire life which makes everything included broader and somewhat more general and this doesn’t make as much room for details because not everything can be included, obviously. Memoirs are narrower focusing on a specific theme of one’s life. When something specific is the focus, details are needed. Since details can not be remembered perfectly the author is going to make some things up in order for everything to fit together in the grand scheme of their memoir. Dave Eggers mentioned at the beginning of his memoir that some things were embellished upon. This reminds me of the whole James Frey controversy. I don’t want to go into it to much, but basically in an interview with Larry King or something he stated that some things in his memoirs were embellished upon and then Oprah wanted him to publicly admit on her show what he lied about. Random house then said that future editions of the book would contain an insert explaining that not everything presented in the book was pure truth. I think that James Frey should have done that from the beginning, but otherwise I don’t think such a big stink should have been made about it. Actually, James Frey and Dave Eggers remind me a lot of one another. Both have a similar writing style; stream of conscience with lots of swearing. James Frey’s style is a little bit more sporadic and poem like, however. Anyhow the reason I’m mentioning Dave Eggers is because every since I read his memoir I have been seeing his name everywhere. It is funny how once something is brought to your attention you finally realize how prominent it is in other places as well. This is a small phenomenon that I have difficulty explaining and at the moment I can’t think of any other examples, but I went to see Where The Wild Things Are (Which is amazing by the way!) and I noticed that he was a writer of the screenplay. I found this very curious and I did some more research on this matter. Dave Eggers was so into co-writing the screenplay for the movie that he agreed to write a novelized form of it. I find it interesting that a novel is now being written based off of a movie. [I wonder how many other books were inspired by movie. This would be an interesting topic to write a blog post on.] There is a very good interview on Rolling Stone online with Dave Eggers regarding his novel entitled, The Wild Things. I won’t expand upon it since this post is already super-duper long, but if you have time check it out. http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20179453,00.html The book is now available and if you want more info on it check it on Amazon which has many of the editorial reviews listed on it as well as reader reviews. Goodness, I could just go on and on today. But like I said this post is already too long so I’m going to stop here.

Hone in on the little things.

I've been blogging a lot these past few days and I really shouldn't be; especially in light of the amount of homework I have. Homework is dumb though. It's all busy work even in college. This conjecture leads me to say that college is dumb. (Goodness that reminds me of the argumentative section in AP English...) I just really wish that I could skip over all the lameness that college is. I just don't think I'm a college kid. Sure I love to sit around and discuss things and I love learning and expanding my knowledge more than anything...but right now it all seems for naught. I don't really know. I think I was supposed to be born back in the times of Aristotle. I would have had to be a man though if I wanted to be a fellow philosopher, I mean Aristotle didn't even consider women fully human. I like being a girl so maybe I wouldn't have wanted to be born back then. Boo...can't have it all. Anyhow I'm sitting here blogging when I should be doing homework and I don't really care. I haven't really blogged about my personal life at all lately. I want to say that it's because nothing all that blog worthy has happened to me, but one of my beliefs that I've put on the back burner this past month is that every little circumstance that occurs in one's life has pertinence and with a different angle of perspective the smallest thing can be the most magical and interesting event. For instance, I go to my average classes everyday at my average school. This statement is factual but if I hone in on little things that have happened in these classes, life becomes quirky and charming. One little thing that happened on Friday is this: I was sitting in my storytelling class waiting for the teacher to commence and I was just kind of looking at the kids around me. I noticed that the guy next to me was eating an apple. Ordinary circumstance right? Wrong. I took a second glance at the guy eating the apple and noticed that the apple was pink in the middle! Hot pink! Never have I ever seen an apple that was hot pink on the interior. For a second I thought I got transported into a Dr. Seuss book; Green Eggs and Ham...Hot Pink Apple. Oi! It was sweet. I asked if he enjoyed it. He said it was alright, but then proceeded to toss it into the garbage with a disgusted grimace on his face two minutes later. The color must have gotten to him. In this same class we are getting sweet t-shirts. I'm really excited because they're using one of my ideas for it...my ideas aren't always acknowledged so to see one made concrete and permanent on fabric is very thrilling for me. We are watching The Princess Bride and the class is called something like, "Storytellers and Raconteurs" (Both words are pretty mean the same thing...) So I said, "We should put R.O.U.S. on the back of the shirt!" Except underneath it write, Raconteurs of Unusual Size! Pretty clever...eh? Yeah...That same Friday I also had an enjoyable class in my writing seminar. It was just a conference day where the prof pulls us out of the room one by one to talk about our paper. Usually he assigns us something to do while people are conferencing. This Friday, however, he said we could leave as soon as he spoke with us. I was praying that I'd be one of the first ones to go, but I was being taught patience that day because I was the third last to go. Looking back though I'm glad I didn't get to go till later. I really liked chatting with everyone in that class. It was really funny too, because the people that were left over at the end were so different from one another. When there was only about four of us left I said, "What movie does this remind me of?" and then in an ironically movie moment situation (since we were talking about movies...) all four of us responded simultaneously, "Breakfast Club!" Ahhh...it makes me smile thinking about it. One of my life goals was to be in a Breakfast Club type situation and upon graduating high school I was very disappointed because I hadn't had one. This one counts even if it was in College and very brief. I'm adding another life goal. For some reason I started noticing storage places for the first time in my life. I probably mentally noted about three or four on my various drives within just the past 24 hours. One of my life goals is to never have enough stuff that I need to store things in a storage place. I understand that sometimes people need them when living in an apartment in between houses or something, but I was thinking about how much of a hassle that would be and I just dearly hope I'm never a part of that.
*Quick Shout out to a good friend of mine: I made it colorful and added little pictures to make it more visually appealing :)

Words like threads. Stories like tapestries.

"Brod's life was a slow realization that the world was not for her, and that for whatever reason, she would never be happy and honest at the same time. She felt as if she were brimming, always producing and hoarding more love inside her. But there was no release... So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love--loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist." — Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

I'm just quite infatuated with Jonathan Safran Foer. Any line from anyone of his books is absolutely gorgeous. I feel as though his words are like various threads woven together to create gorgeous tapestries. Each line by itself is beautiful enough, but when added all together to create a story it becomes pure magnificence. I feel like I can relate to so much of his writings and even if I may never have been in the exact situations of his characters I feel like their words very much reflect my feelings. I can never get enough of his writing. He's probably the person I've referenced the most in my blog. If you've never had a chance to read any of his works; read them. At least see the film, Everything Is Illuminated, which from what I've read portrays the book fairly well.

Piece of the Puzzle Your My Missing Part

I finally saw 500 Days of Summer. I had been wanting to see it since before it came out. It was definitely my kind of movie; cute, funny and romantic...but real. There are not alot of movies that portray that side of love; especially from the girl's perspective. I loved how it displayed that the female can be the one who isn't head over heels for once. Sure I felt a little bad for Tom, but that kind of thing happens...you can't force someone to love you or expect someone to love you just because you love them. The tagline for the movie is "Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't." I like it. It's like those children's books; "See Spot run." Simplicity is really nice sometimes...the relationship portrayed in the movie was by no means simplistic though. The movie also has a fantastic soundtrack. Regina Spektor makes my life and any movie that has Regina Spektor in it is going to be a movie I like. Spektor's most prominent song in the movie is, "Us" and this is one of my favorite songs by her. It's in this trailer.



When I first saw the trailor in theaters and heard the song playing I jumped out of my seat a little and I was seeing a movie with just my mom that day and I grabbed her arm and she freaked and said, "Are you OK?" really loud and I was like, "Yeah, yeah it's just...it's just this movie looks really good!" I also really liked the movie because I just love Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I especially adore Zooey Deschanel. One movie of hers that I have to mention is Flakes. I'm sure many people have never even heard of this movie. I wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten it on sale at Blockbuster. It's a low budget indie that didn't do so hot, but it was definitely interesting and kind of fun. Zooey Deschanel's character in that movie was Miss Pussy Katz...that character name says alot about the film. I just liked it because it was ridiculous and about cereal; I love cereal.

I love Ben Gibbard. Love. Love. Love him. That may have seemed out of the blue, but it very much correlates to the subject matter of my post. Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel are married. They married September 21st of this year. I knew they were engaged since last year, but after researching I discovered that they are now married (Yay!) In one article I was reading from Spin magazine the headline read, "The She & Him singer/actress and Death Cab for Cutie frontman tie the knot, ending fantasies of indie boys & girls worldwide." I thought that was kind of funny, but I just wanted Ben Gibbard to get married so bad because all of his songs were so sad and sweet, "Nothing Better" especially made me want him to have someone to be married to. So even though I am in love with Ben Gibbard, I'd much rather have him be married. I also enjoyed this line from the article, "It was like the indie rock prom, and they were the king and queen." If I could have chosen any wedding ever to attend this one definitely would have been it. Here's a little video of them singing together. It's kind of poor quality, but they're just so stinking adorable.

I love Zoe Deschanel's style and her singing voice. It's so unique. One song from She and Him that I currently love is "Sentimental Heart"



I've been writing a lot of posts lately that are mainly just commentary on things so I'm going to start trying to bring my life back into just a little bit. My favorite line from the song is, "Piece of the puzzle, you're my missing part." Sure it's kind of cliche but in the context of the song it's super cute. I especially like it because puzzles mean a lot more to me now. I took one of those dumb quizzes online that tell you your IQ and intelligence in different areas and I got below preschool level on spacial intelligence, which is puzzles and such. I had never been a fan of puzzle making, but after going to Puzzle World, buying an awesome Norman Rockwell puzzle (of the picture soda jerk), and working on it for three plus hours with one of my best friends in the whole wide world, I am now a fan. We are having a tough time with it but we are going to finish it someday. I can't wait to work on it again.

Indulgence in a Media Fest of Pertinence to Wes Anderson

I was planning on writing about Wes Anderson for my next blog post because I brought him up in "These Days" with the mention of The Royal Tenenbaums. I really enjoy his movies. They're quirky, clever, off-kilter and everything I enjoy. I also like how you could pause one of his movies at any point and the resulting frame would be art. There are so many things I want to mention though so I'm going to refrain from doing an entire post based on Wes Anderson. I've had a media fest these past two days; indulging in everything I forgot was so great. I watched a movie (Not for class!), TV, and read a magazine. It's crazy how every correlated.

I watched Rushmore, another brilliant Wes Anderson film, on Thursday. Then I watched Community, which is a new show on NBC about a community college starring Joel McHale from The Soup. It is a comedy, but one of those comedies that entail semi-serious and not so 'sitcom-y' acting. I've always enjoyed Joel McHale, but after watching this show I definitely respect him even more because he pulls off the character of Jeff Winger really well. The show is pretty decent and I'm someone who is really picky about my television shows. Plot aside, the style seems like a subtle mix between It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Arrested Development. I wouldn't go so far yet to say that it is better than either one of these shows, though. What really makes Community for me is Chevy Chase; I love that guy. Anyhow, I was watching a rerun of one of the Community episodes that I missed and the character of Abed tells Jeff Winger that he reminds him of Bill Murray. So that's my first tie in to Wes Anderson, :) Check Community out on http://www.nbc.com/community/

I've always been a magazine reader, but for the past year or so I've had difficulty finding one I really enjoy. I'm not really into teen magazines like Seventeen anymore, but I recently discovered Marie Claire and I have become quite a fan. I obviously can't afford any of the clothes or anything in it (and I never want to pay that much for clothing), but what I really love about the magazine is its global focus. There are so many interesting articles in it pertaining to serious issues around the world. Actually every article in the magazine, no matter what the subject, is extremely well written. I also like the "Marie Claire Radar" which is a section in the magazine of reviews on movies, television, music and books. They always have really great recommendations. There was two recommendations that I'm especially excited to look into. The first is a book called Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. The description in Marie Claire reads, "Jonathan Safran Foer examines why we eat the way we do in a memoir about his vegetarianism." I looked it up on Amazon as soon as I read about it in Marie Claire and here's the product description about it from Amazon..

"Jonathan Safran Foer spent much of his teenage and college years oscillating between omnivore and vegetarian. But on the brink of fatherhood-facing the prospect of having to make dietary choices on a child's behalf-his casual questioning took on an urgency His quest for answers ultimately required him to visit factory farms in the middle of the night, dissect the emotional ingredients of meals from his childhood, and probe some of his most primal instincts about right and wrong. Brilliantly synthesizing philosophy, literature, science, memoir and his own detective work, Eating Animals explores the many fictions we use to justify our eating habits-from folklore to pop culture to family traditions and national myth-and how such tales can lull us into a brutal forgetting. Marked by Foer's profound moral ferocity and unvarying generosity, as well as the vibrant style and creativity that made his previous books, Everything is Illuminated and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, widely loved, Eating Animals is a celebration and a reckoning, a story about the stories we've told-and the stories we now need to tell."

The only thing I don't understand about this description is the first sentence where it says he, "spent much of his teenage and college years oscillating between omnivore and vegetarian." Aren't those pretty much the same thing? Maybe it's referring to how some people eat strictly plants because that's what they want to do and it's not something they're doing because they feel strongly against eating animals. In other words maybe the difference has to do with vegetarianism being more of a lifestyle rather than just a diet. I don't know. Anyhow I love Jonathan Safran Foer and that he's a vegetarian because so am I. I am really, really looking forward to reading this and I can guarantee that as soon as I finish it there will be a mega blog post about it. Now to tie Jonathan Safran Foer into Wes Anderson...they look a lot, a lot alike. Refer to the pictures of the two guys in glasses in this post. Granted I chose pictures where the angles they are at make them look even similar, plus they're both wearing similar glasses. Without the angles and the glasses they wouldn't look quite so similar, but I just enjoy their style and how my two favorite genius, inspirational artists look somewhat alike.

The next movie recommended in the "Marie Claire Radar" is for Wes Anderson's stop-motion animation Fantastic Mr. Fox! I love Roal Dahl and Wes Anderson and Stop-motion animation and George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray and Owen Wilson! I'm so, so flippin` excited for this movie! It's bound to be incredible. As seemingly unorganized as this post may seem I'm very proud of how everything tied in together...not too shabby, not too shabby.

These Days

Earlier today I went for a walk and enjoyed a good listen to Mates of State on my ipod. I love Mates of State. I'll have to write an entire post about them sometime. I was listening to one of their songs called, "These Days" which is a cover. I recall sitting in the car once when "These Days" came on the radio, but it was a different version. I looked this song up today to discover who originally wrote it. There is quite a bit of history to this song. It was written by a guy named Jackson Browne. He made demos of it for Nina Music Publishing. "I've been out walking" was the earliest version of it. Nico recorded it on their album Chelsea Girl so Nico is technically the first band to have it on an actual album; though it was Browne's song and he first had it on a demo. He even claims that he wrote it all the way back to when he was sixteen which would have been 1964; three years prior to him realising it to Nina Music Publishing. Andy Warhol even put suggestions into the recording of "These Days" by Nico. "These Days" was recorded only a few months later by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band on their album Rare Junk, Tom Rush on his 1970 album Tom Rush, Kenny Loggins' first band, Gator Creek, and by Iain Matthews on his 1973 album Valley Hi. Gregg Allman also did a recording of it and soon Jackson Browne put out his own official recording of it as well. The song became big again when The Royal Tennabaums came out. Nico's version is on the soundtrack. The Mates of State version can be heard on the Wicker Park soundtrack. Browne's version can also be heard in the film, Invincible. Since then many other modern day artists have covered it as well the list includes, Denison Witmer, Paul Westerberg, Griffin House, Glen Campbell, and a band known as Delays. Elliot Smith also did a cover of "These Days" in many of his live performances. The song is also listed as #31 on Pitchfork Media's 2006 ranking of The 200 greatest songs of the 1960's. Wow. That's alot for one song to go through. I'd have to agree that it's a pretty good song though. Here's just a few of the artists singing "These Days". I know it's not possible because some of them are dead, but it would be really sweet if they all got together and sang it as, "The artists who covered These Days choir" That would be incredible.

Sweet Thursday

I like Thursdays. Thursday are, "mmm, mmm, good." I like Steinbeck. He has a book called Sweet Thursday. I've never read it. I would love to, however. I like Matt Costa. He wrote a song that integrates bits and pieces of Steinbeck's Sweet Thursday into his song called..."Sweet Thursday". I'd also like to add that Duke Elington and Billy Strayhorn wrote a little ditty based off of Sweet Thursday as well, except it's called "Suite Thursday". I think that's awesome. I love when authors, musicians, and artists pull inspiration from one another.

Mon enfant! I give you my hand!

I’ve been in a big reading kick lately I guess I kind of always am into reading (even though I really shouldn't be taking time away from homework to read) but I’ve especially been into graphic novels. Not like the Watchmen type though. This summer I just discovered the genre of philosophical graphic novels. My top two have actually both been memoirs. The first I got earlier this summer from half price books. It’s called Everyday Matters by Danny Gregory and it is absolutely beautiful. The second graphic memoir I just finished today. It’s called Blankets by Craig Thompson and it was incredible. It was slightly raunchy here and there (on some parts it would not seem half as risque without the pictures) and I was really taken aback at the end with the agnostic tone, but it was genius nevertheless. I love the mixing of art and literature. It makes the reading experience four dimensional in a way. Reading a graphic novel is somewhat comparable to how I feel when I watch a film, except more personal. Even when you’re watching a movie by yourself, the sound and action is taking place in a way that would be visible to anyone who walked in the room where the movie’s showing. I think people that are able to create deep graphic novels are absolute geniuses. In between reading graphic novels, though, I have to read just straight out books otherwise my mind gets too used to how much easier and faster it is to just read a graphic novel. So after finishing Blankets today I picked up Love Story by Erich Segal which is a highly entertaining read. I love when authors intersperse little bits and pieces of other authors poems or mention other books in their own novel. In one part of Love Story Walt Whitman’s Song of the Open Road came up. Boy, that’s some good stuff. It’s filled with a lot of this and that (crazy poemish thoughts that extend into race and politics and all sorts of topics), but I just like the picture I get while reading it. This may be my last blog post for awhile…I guess I might be able to make short entries here and there, but I’m about to embark upon my first three hour musical practice tonight and thus embark upon an even busier life. I’m OK with busy. I like busy a lot actually. As long as I get some time to read here and there.

What I would do if I wasn't sitting here blogging...

I have alot to do. Because I have so much to do I am definately a little stressed out. This is typical of a college student though. I feel as though I will only get more stressed out if I try to do anything now. I just need a fresh day. Trying to do things on a day that is already almost up is pointless...(I shouldn't even try to justify my terrible procrastination with my horrific, irrational reasoning...)

Here's what I normally do when I am stressed out:

1. Bake something. Usually bread, because you can kneed it and that is a stress reliever.

2. Blast some Weezer and dance around in the...um...yeah that's all I'm going to say.

3. Play piano.

4. Paint.

5. Go running.

6. Put on a yoga DVD.

7. Read a good book.

8. Drink Tea.

9. Watch Gone with the Wind, or some other classic movie.

10. Play with Kyle.

11. Write a story.

12. Pet a cat.

13. Make Paper Cranes.

14. Listen to those thunderstorm cd's.

Numbers 1-5 and 10 and 12 are out of the question because I don't have the facilities or the materials needed or the time of day is crummy for the activity...I already feel less stressed out just blogging about what I would do if I wasn't sitting here blogging. This is ironic. I'm just going to go and do some things now.

Sunshine is a wonderful thing to be thankful for.

Every morning I lifeguard at my school's pool from precisely 8:00am-9:00am. It's fairy easy seeing as all I have to do is sit in a folding chair and watch some elderly people swim back and forth. Occasionally there isn't even any one there! On Fridays there is a water aerobics class that starts at 9:00. The older ladies and gents usually come around 8:00 to free swim for an hour. The first Friday I life-guarded a woman who organized the park and rec program came into the swim area and said that they were not allowed to swim, because they were not covered under the insurance during that time because the life-guard shift from 8-9 was not paid by the city; that the free swim from 8-9 was for faculty and students of the school only. This had never before been the case. So all of these wonderful older people got up bright and early to go for a little swim only to learn they could do this no longer. There was an up rage! There was a lot of debating going on, and all I could do was observe. I wanted so badly to run in between the older people and the woman, throw my hands up, and just yell, "Stop! Can't we all just get along! I really wouldn't mind guarding! I mean we're here anyways and there's no one even in the pool right now!" The women left to go have a brief meeting with the pool adviser or something and the other life-guard and I were given strict rules to, "Not allow those folks in the pool by any means!", followed by a little wink...I just felt horrible. As soon as she left they all came over and were like, "Oh she's gone, let's go for it!", but they didn't. Thank goodness, because I would have felt so bad asking them to, "Step away from the pool!" One elderly gentleman walked in during the middle of this fiasco and just waltzed over to the pool and started going in not realizing what was going on. I had to politely ask him to get out. He was so confused. I felt horrific. Pretty soon the next lifeguard on duty came and when she heard what was happening she said, "Ridiculous! Everyone get in the pool!" Bouts of cheering pursued and this life-guard received much thanks. I wish I could have been the lifeguard who had the 9-10 shift that day. She was their hero. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, however, there is a water aerobics class during my shift and boy is that fun to watch. It's pretty intense. There's these four older guys who always come and they are just hilarious! They goof off the whole time and make fun of each other. I really don't think there is much difference between the age gaps. Today one of them took eight of the water weights and stacked them up like a pyramid. It was grand. After their class their instructor always asks them what they are thankful for and they shout things out. One woman every Tuesday and Thursday without fail responds, "Sunshine!". I agree sunshine is a wonderful thing to be thankful for.

Paper Cranes.

Life is wierd. Life is also crazy awesome. I'm learning how to deal with this mixture and in the process figuring out how I fit into it all. There is so much ambiguity right now. It's as delicious as tofu stirfry though. Being in all of these awesome English classes makes me want to run away to foreign countries and write and act and do everything I've ever wanted to do. It's funny though because that technically can't happen until I finish up college. So I'll have to put up with the constant pull of wanting out but having to stay, in order to get to where I really want to be. I'm not the biggest fan of college. I love to learn. LOVE. I love being on my own. LOVE. The other parts of college I could do without, though. I plan on going to school year-round for the next two years so that I can get out of here sooner. I want to go off to Eastern Europe and teach English as a second language real bad. There's also a butt-load of other things I want to do though. The cool thing is that I'm young and I can do those things! I accomplished one of my goals yesterday. I tought myself how to make an origami crane. They're not of the best craftmanship, but they're hopelessly beautiful. I hand crafted them with love. If I make a thousand my wish will come true. I'm two down, 998 to go. No prob, I got this :)

Give it a go!

I'm a Sentimental Gal.

There are quite a few things I want to blog about...

I have an entire list pretty much...

But right now it's very hard to focus...

My distractions are numerous...

I have alot of things I want to do...

I have alot of things I need to do...

So I will keep this blog post short...

Short, but sentimental.
My friend, Sara, who is already off in North Dakota for college, (Gah! I miss her so much already!) posted some videos of our lovely little trio on youtube. Through using the word trio one might assume she posted videos of singing...it's actually just three girls (Josalyn, Sara, and I) being beyond ridiculous. We're so obnoxious. I'm going to miss it. Granted we will see eachother over break, but boy is the world missing out without us three constantly terrorizing the peace and quiet of malls, trackmeets, and parks alike. These videos are a brief look into our strange, yet beautiful ways.

Shedding that stubborn pride...

For the past few days I've been attempting to clean up my room and organize all the junk I've accumulated from the past four years of my life. It's for the most part un-enjoyable; un-enjoyable to the extreme. I do, however, like sifting through sentimentalness, whether it be in the form of little notes from friends, letters, cards, and various writings of mine. This part of organizing my life is enjoyable; enjoyable to the extreme. I came across my sketchbook from first semester of senior year, which isn't even a year ago yet but the majority of it was filled with poems and sketches reflecting the turmoil of my indecisive nature; particularly the indecisiveness I felt towards my future plans. It is very gratifying to look back at all this now that I have made a decision for the upcoming school year. Even though it took me an unusually long time and though the road to my final decision was wind-y, I'm very happy with the journey and with the current decision destination (Who knows when it could change next?) One poem I found that was kind of funny goes like this...

Wow it’s 2009; that’s mind boggling to me…
It’s the year I graduate; yippee!
But right now I feel awfully lost
Graduating also comes with a cost
There are so many decisions, decisions.
I sure hope I have the provisions, provisions.
My mind is oh so very split
How do I know what college I’ll fit?
I’m obviously not good at poems
Nor am I cunning like Sherlock Holmes
What do I do? Where do I go?
I have no idea what direction to flow….

I'm horrible at poetry, but the illustration that went along with it was kind of charming. I'll have to scan it in tomorrow and post it. Oh, I've failed to even mention what my final decision was. It just so happens to be (Drum roll please...) The small, private college I wanted nothing to do with four months ago. It's just so funny to me. I've been such a stubborn wannabee rebellious kid this past year that I totally bypassed what the best decision was all along. Deep down I had wanted to go to Carroll over a year ago, but since my parents both graduated from there and since my Dad was constantly saying, "You're going to go there, I just know it..." I told everyone who mentioned it as an option for me that, "I'd never go there! Ever! It's way too close to home, and I want to get out, experience life." I think I mentioned a little bit of this in my previous post...anyhow, I've learned that sometimes parents are right, especially when we don't necessarily want them to be right. I'm so happy with where I'm going right now though, so actually I couldn't be happier that my parents proved me wrong. Wow! That sentence is something I would never say four months ago...I think I'm finally "growing up" a little.

The Lord Giveth. Taketh. Confuseth. Leadeth.

Whoa. Whoa. WHOA! What a summer! This is my second day home and already things are as Topsy turvy as ever. After spending my whole summer working at the most incredible place ever I am back into the "real" world and already things aren't seeming all that realistic. That's to be expected, however. What is "real" anyways...I'm gonna quick get a valid definition for this word. I feel like it's one of those vague, subjective type of definitions. real: not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory. The phrase "real world" as well as the TV show that goes by this name is so very contradictory. In a sin filled world, especially here in the U.S. things are in fact artificial. Camp is real, though. If I hadn't been at camp this summer I would have gotten three months of being lazy, beachy, and downright useless to society other than working some hours at a part-time job. Even though I missed out on this beautiful, vegetative state of the typical, teenage summer I wouldn't trade this summer for anything. I did have three days of laziness prior to coming home and it was priceless; far more valuable then three years worth of summer. I'm not quite sure what's going on in my life right now, however. It's quite a mess, but I can deal. The reason it's a mess is because where I'm going to school next year is still up in the air. Let's see if I can retrace the pattern of my thoughts on college. I'll start with my thoughts on college all the way back to Freshman year. I recall sitting in the computer lab taking some test on what I should look into as a career and thinking to myself, "This is so dumb. I already know what I want to do. I want to be an actress. I know it's not practical, but I've got a plan. I'll go to college in New York and it will all be splendid. This is a waste of time." Ahhh...gotta love naive freshman me. Sophomore year I was back in the stewards lab and this time it was of my own free will. I researched colleges at school as well as at home. I had decided I wanted to be a high school English teacher and I was totally set on this plan. My mom would come up to me while I was on the computer at home and say, "Go have some fun or spend time doing something else other than researching colleges, you have plenty of time for that next year." I kept on and would tell her that I needed to be prepared. I found lots of enjoyment in planning out my future; I hated high school since second semester of freshman year. Junior year rolled around and my thoughts were, "I wasted my time sophomore year researching all those four year liberal arts colleges. I want to be an artist. I'm going to go to art school." Some research time later, "Whoa...art school sure is expensive. Change of plans! I'll study art at a four year liberal college." As researched continued I realized that the only WI school that had a decent art program was Milwaukee. I applied beginning of Senior year. From there on out I realized I was running out of time to decide on colleges. To reflect the urgency I felt I will write in a fragmented, stream of conscience style. Milwaukee never felt quite right, though...I felt that I wanted to be challenged and I thought Milwaukee didn't exactly have an ultra challenging potential so I applied to the U of M. I wanted to get away, go to a big city, leave everything behind, start fresh, become an independent woman. Acceptance denied. "Milwaukee it is. It will be nice. I'm really into film lately; they have an awesome film program. I'll be the next Tim Burton. Success." I applied to housing at Milwaukee...sorry no more housing. I'm screwed. "I'll get an apartment. Why didn't I think of that sooner?! Now I'll be even more independent and I can cook my tofu in peace. It all works out so splendidly." This conclusion came at the end of April and I was more than satisfied with my decision. First week of May I get a letter from the U of M. Congratulations! You're accepted! What?! I was sent a letter of denial three times! THREE TIMES! My mom suggests visiting it. My dad is hesitant. "Why don't you just go to Carroll? They offered you a lot of money and it's not as far from home. It's a great school."

"Dad. You know I don't want to go there! I want to get away; experience the "real world" (ahhh..the irony.) The visit to MN was wonderful. My mom said it was the school for me. I was still hesitant. I wavered back and forth between MN and Milwaukee until the day before graduation. My friend said, "Go with MN, I think it's the best decision." I was like, "Sure what the heck. I'm not really leaving anything behind. I need to meet new people, I need to meet boys. MN is a big school with smart people and big schools with smart people have a good boy selection." MN it was. I took my placement tests for MN second week of camp. I got eight credits for Spanish; things were already looking bright. I unexpectedly met a boy at camp. The perks of MN were beginning to dim. I went to MN for orientation. I got fantastic classes. I had a blast. The light bulb suddenly grew wattage. I went back to camp and as the summer progressed my thought process changed from, "Yeah! I'm a funky, film loving girl who'll make sweet films and hopefully be single till I'm forty so that I can focus on my art." to "I'm really into Jesus and the film scene might get in the way of that. I actually don't want to be single till I'm forty. I kinda want to get married while I'm still at a ripe procreating age. Not right away, but someday I want a family. Can famous film-makers have family? Taratino doesn't...I still think I'd make a good teacher. WHY AM I GOING TO MN? I DON'T EVEN LIKE COLD WEATHER!" All this wavering and indecision bothered me. Not only was I confused, I was angry at myself for being so wishy-washy in my decision making processes. It was too late though, I was going to MN and that was that. I needed to make the best of it. End of July rolls around and I get my room assignment. My hall is on the opposite side of campus from all my classes. Negative. My roommate is the coolest person ever. Positive; a positive that far outweighs the negative. MN might not be too bad. As camp came to a close I was still a little worried about going to MN. I was scared for who I might be when I got there. Scared to leave behind so many people I grew to love more than I've ever loved anyone before. It'd be OK though. It'd be more than OK. When I got home on Friday, though I discovered that my awesome roommate was no longer my awesome roommate. I freaked for a moment, but was happy for her because she was able to get put into a hall that was far more convenient for her. Now it is Sunday and I am still roommate-less. This is understandable. The MN housing department has a lot to deal with. I, however, will have a lot to deal with now that I have to wait for the housing department to tell me who I will be spending all of next year with. MN doesn't really look like where I'm supposed to be anymore. Do I have any other option though? I'm still accepted at Carroll. Would they take me? Most likely. I actually want to go there now. They have an art education program and after watching Matilda tonight I decided I want to be a teacher. Miss Honey is so very inspiring. So here I am still confused about college and still not sure where I will be going to school for the fall and it is August 16th. God has great plans for me and though I haven't a clue to what they are I'm excited for them. I am praying, though that some plans (the three week down the road plans) are revealed soonly because the haze of indecision, confusion, and self-doubt is thickening and I'm not the best driver as it is...hold up Kath. Rethink this. You need to scoot over to that passenger seat and let Jesus take the wheel, and no I'm not referring to that song by Carrie Underwood...(When I type in third person...it's serious business.) So my advice for myself and anyone else who may read this is: Jesus is the best driver there is. Far better than Jeff Gordon and any of those other NASCAR dudes. Though I may not always know where he's driving me, I gotta trust it's all in his plans for me and the cool thing is I already know where my final destination is; it's Heaven. I just need to serve Him until he takes me there. So I guess I know more than I thought; at least the most important thing I need to know. Boy, blogging sure is therapeutic.